...being enough

A confession? This time of year gives me an inferiority complex. I continually seem to come up short, run late, disappoint myself.

Advent beckons to me, to come away, to quiet myself, to slow my breathing, to wait in stillness for the world to turn upside down. And year after year, my already tumped-over world gets in the way of my good intentions. And year after year, my 'meant to's turn into 'should have's, and anticipation becomes regret.

Christmas beckons, with its glitter and sparkle, its jingle and laughter. And year after year, I run out of calendar on the way to making magic. Just-right gifts don't get bought, wrapping paper stays wrapped around the cardboard tube, carols remain unsung. What good is being a visionary, with these feet of clay?

I want to believe, though, that what I bring is enough. That this broke-down season, this cobbled together holiday, this Charlie Brown tree of a practice that is my attempt, despite my best intentions--that this offering is enough. Leonard Cohen wrote:
     Ring the bells that still can ring
     Forget your perfect offering
     There is a crack in everything
     That's how the light gets in.

Still trying. But I will be the one, bringing up the rear, toting my imperfect offering.
It's enough. Thanks be to God.

...reckless in giving

Take whatever I can offer --- gifts that I have yet to find,

Skills that I am slow to sharpen, talents of the hand and mind,

Things made beautiful for others in the place where I must be;

Take my gifts and let me love You, God who first of all loved me.

---Shirley Erena Murray, 1992

Offering. Giving. $$$. If we are honest, many of us equate “giving” and “offering” with dollars. And there is no doubt about it --- the challenges of the world need your dollars, and mine. But what intangibles do you command that could make this world a better place? What of your own essence can you offer to God?

Is there a skill you can offer? Some expertise you can bring to a situation? What talent could you bring? Could you make the world a more beautiful place with your art, your music? Could you give voice to those without? Shirley Erena Murray, a New Zealand hymnist, imagines offering gifts and skills still “in development” to God; gifts we are still discovering can be offered in trust to God. Can we be reckless in our giving to God, offering up still unformed parts of ourselves in the assurance that utility, even beauty, can be shaped from them? Do we trust God to honor our gifts offered in love?

God. Who first of all loved us.

...let's be adventurers!

Excite our minds to follow you, to trace new truths in store,

new flight paths for our spirit space, new marvels to explore.

Engage our wits to dance with you, to leap from logic’s base,

to capture insight on the wing, to sense your cosmic grace.

---Shirley Erena Murray, 1990

Frank Sinatra, or if you preferred your jazz a little more complex Billie Holliday, sang “All of me, why not take all of me?” As Christians, we are used to thinking in terms of offering ‘all’ of ourselves to God---our hearts, our energies, our talents, our financial resources, even our time. One thing many of us don’t think of using in the service of God, sadly, is our minds, especially our imaginations.

What does it mean to engage our sense of discovery and imagination in the service of God? What kind of certainties must we let go of to follow our creative God in the exercise of holy imagination? How might our world change if we leapt unafraid, partnered with God, into the discovery of new insights, deeper understandings of ancient spiritual truths, new sacred heartspace?

Dare we be adventurers together, as we bring the ‘all’ of all of us in offering to the God who has always brought all of Godself to us as joyful gift?

...we rise

Then hear, O gracious Savior, accept the love we bring,

that we who know Your favor may serve You as our King;

and whether our tomorrows be filled with good or ill,

we’ll triumph through our sorrows and rise to bless You still;

to marvel at Your beauty and glory in Your ways,

and make a joyful duty our sacrifice of praise.

---Michael Perry, 1982

When something wonderful happens in my life, Thank you, Lord. When I see a beautiful sunset, or watch clouds heavy with rain gathering on the horizon, Thank God. When things go right at work or with family or friends, Thank you, God. When medical tests come back and the results are better than anyone could have led you to believe or hope, Thank you, Jesus!

Thanksgiving flows from gratitude for the good we sense in us and around us. It can be a powerful emotion, and gratitude can be a transformative force in lives and communities.

This hymn text is speaking of something other, though---something that is not a response to a blessing or sensed ‘gift moment’. This other might be called blessing, awe, marvel, or praise. This offering up of our souls, ourselves, to the very center of God’s Being. Essence offered up to Essence. Joyfully offering our souls as gift and sacrifice to our Soul-Creator.

And so, independent of our circumstances, we bless God. We rise.

...on reckless giving

Take whatever I can offer --- gifts that I have yet to find,

Skills that I am slow to sharpen, talents of the hand and mind,

Things made beautiful for others in the place where I must be;

Take my gifts and let me love you, God who first of all loved me.

---Shirley Erena Murray, 1992

Offering. Giving. $$$. If we are honest, many of us equate “giving” and “offering” with dollars. And there is no doubt about it --- the challenges of the world need your dollars, and mine. But what intangibles do you command that could make this world a better place? What of your own essence can you offer to God?

Is there a skill you can offer? Some expertise you can bring to a situation? What talent could you bring? Could you make the world a more beautiful place with your art, your music? Could you give voice to those without? Shirley Erena Murray, a New Zealand hymnist, imagines offering gifts and skills still “in development” to God; gifts we are still discovering can be offered in trust to God. Can we be reckless in our giving to God, offering up still unformed parts of ourselves in the assurance that utility, even beauty, can be shaped from them? Do we trust God to honor our gifts offered in love?

God. Who first of all loved us.

...set us all shaking

I will sing you something new;
the earth bursts with it,
blessing your name;
every song a new attempt to tell 
the fullness of your ongoing salvation;
every shout a new chapter in your story
to all the world,
of your moving in the world.
You are vast;
o, that my praise could match 
that vastness.
Any god I could imagine, you exceed;
only you create on a universal scale.
Majesty and dignity herald your coming,
strength and beauty adorn the 
place of your abiding.

Let it be known, tribes and peoples,
the One who is Mystery 
is the source of strength.
What will you offer,
when you find yourself drawn to the heart 
of the Presence?
Offer the best of who you are
to the One wrapped in brilliance;
let it set you shaking, 
let it set us all shaking.

---Psalm 96:1-9 (para. laca)

...might this please you?

I will speak the language of you
with music in my voice;
I will fill the space where you are
with expansive gratitude.
Might this please you more than an offering
of bloody carcasses, 
drug onto a pyre?
Perhaps those life has drug 
onto its own pyre will hear,
and hope;
perhaps they who have sought you
will renew their own songs.
For you have always heard 
the cry of the downtrodden and desperate;
and you, in your tenderheartedness,
could not look on your loved ones, bound,
and not grieve their chains.
---Psalm 69: 30-33 (para. laca)

...the tweetable moment

As they offered gifts most rare at thy manger, rude and bare,
so may we with holy joy, pure and free from sin's alloy,
all out costliest treasures  bring, Christ, to thee, our heavenly King.
---William Chatterton Dix, c. 1858

Oprah calls it a "tweetable moment". Before Twitter took off, she called it an "aha moment", but natch --- one must keep up with the times. These are phrases used to refer to epiphanies --- manifestations, sudden revealings, inspired discoveries. "God moments", if you will.

And today, on the spiritual calendar, is Epiphany, traditionally celebrated as the revealing of God in Jesus to the Gentiles. We mark the day remembering the arrival of the Magi, scholars from the East seeking a king and finding a child. They brought gifts, traditionally honoring king, God, and sacrifice. In a very obvious way, what was revealed to them changed them.

Our question today, on this Epiphany, is: Will this revealing, this manifestation, this discovery of God in human form change us? Will it bring us to our knees in wonder? Will it, quite literally, floor us?

And, if it does, what will we bring? Gold, frankinscense (whatever that is), and myrrh are soooo taken; and I've got an inkling they'd be hard for the average Jill and Joe to get our hands on. What, then, are our costliest treasures? What is it we hold back in our private reserve for that special occasion that never seems to happen? What is it that is our 'precious', guarded jealously, beyond reason?

What is it we need to offer the Child, in order to be free to serve the world for His sake?